I write this through tears. We just arrived back from a weekend at my husband's parents' house. We drove over three hours north to be able to attend my husband's 25th class reunion.
Everytime we visit my children's grandparents I always feel happy that our children are going to spend time with their only grandparents. My parents passed away in 1998 and 2002. But everytime we are with them, I am hurt by their comments and actions.
I am so wounded this time. I have asked my husband not to visit again for awhile. We really don't see them too often, but I don't want to visit them for a long time.
Let's see...these were just a tiny portion of their many hurtful comments:
"Hey, do you need help paying for a vasectomy?"
"Why don't you teach in a real school?" (public, I'm assuming. I didn't ask for a qualification)
"Did you know that the Catholic High School here in town fired a teacher becase she had a baby and wasn't married? Does that sound Christian?"
"Did you know that the same school kicked out a high school girl who became pregnant while in high school?"
There were more. You get the idea. I get to tired just writing about it all.
They show "love" to our kids, but constantly talk about their other grandson, who is an only child from their youngest and very special. (He is also the same religion as they.) He can do things that no other child has ever done before. Our children have noticed and mention things to Jerry and I. I am so tired of making excuses for their grandparent's behavior.
And above all, while we live over 3 hours away and only see them maybe 2 times a year, the grandparents--while we are visiting--invite their 'special' grandson over to show us his talents. He is three. Between our little Meri Claire and our Sophie. Oh, and they have 9 other grandchildren as well.
This little boy is adorable and you couldn't help but love him on the spot, but it breaks my heart that their favoritism is so evident. I think they have always resented that Jerry became a Catholic. They will criticize every chance they can and voice their opinions too. (They all remain silent during meal prayers...they will not even recite a child's meal prayer with us) We do not want the children to sense anymore disharmony so we shut our mouths. We have done this for over 19 years.
I don't like what all of this does to my wonderful husband. He is such a Blessing in my life. The only solution that I can see right now is to stay away from them.
As a side note, we left their house this morning and Jerry told them that we were heading to Church. I cried on the way to Church and prayed that I learn through this what I need to carry on as a wife and mother. Did you listen to the Gospel today? Wow. Beautiful words from God. Also, there was a family sitting behind us and after Church the mom approached me and told me what a beautiful family we had and that they were very well behaved. I am always amazed that complete strangers can see how beautiful our family is but their grandparents cannot.
I am praying for my in laws. They do need prayers. I want God's will to be done in this situation. Prayers for a resolution to this long, long issue would be most appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Jesus, I trust in You.
2 comments:
Beautiful Mom Of Six,
I stopped by your blog tonight for the first time and after reading this post just had to comment.
I felt every word. My husband's parents could not fathom why we would want so many children. And how on earth could we think that homeschooling them all was a good idea? They do love their grandchildren and thankfully kept most of the hurtful comments out of the hearing of the children. But my husband and I and I always got an earful. Being parents of any number of children is difficult from time to time. Rather than being encouraging, my M-I-L seemed to get such a kick out of our struggles, as if to say "Well, that's what you get for having so many."
The Gospel reading this Sunday seemed to hit us like never before. Wow. There will be many times we will be called to choose between those we love and the God we love even more. It hurts. And yet, what incredible treasure is ours when we do.
After praying for years and years, the impossible happened. My F-I-L had a great conversion and return to the Church a short time before he died.
I had been praying for him, but without much hope. Our Lord is so much bigger than our doubts...and our pain. We continue to pray for my
M-I-L and try to live our Faith as sincerely as we can, hopefully being a good witness to her.
I will say a prayer for you and your family tonight. My our Dear Mother comfort and encourage you. Your children are -EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM- a wonderful gift!
Sorry for such a long comment! Oh, and the mistakes too. There's no spell check for the comment box! :)
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